The Virginia Monologues

When she started to clock up the years in earnest, everyone tried not to mention it. But now Virginia Ironside is actually sixty-five she can't see what all the fuss was about. It's great to be old.

Growing ancient is not a loss but a gain. You're more confident, and if your memory's going, at least you forget the bad times, like all those ghastly men you slept with in the other sixties. And isn't now the time to take lots of drugs, and not just the ones prescribed by the doctor (which are, now you're old, completely free)?

There's nothing more fun than comparing your various ailments with other oldies ('I take so many fish oils I'm thinking of joining an aquarium'), curtain-twitching, complaining or (Virginia's preference) just mooching about.

From Grandchildren ('The reward for not killing your children'), and Being a Bore ('You're in your anecdotage, so nobody can complain') to Sex ('I don't know about you, but I've had enough sex to last me a lifetime'), Virginia Ironside tackles all the issues that face today's elegant and distinguished oldies with optimism and enthusiasm - and makes you want to cheer!